Hard-Boiled Eggs

This is a basic recipe that is intended for use with more complex recipes.

ingredients = {
  :eggs => you.decide
}

pot << :water
pot.element.set_heat :high

if pot.boiling?
  # this means don't break the eggs :P
  pot.insert :eggs, :with => :shell
end

you.wait 10.minutes

pot.element.set_heat :off
pot.remove :water

unless you.can_wait?
  cold_tap.turn_on
  you.put :eggs, :under => :tap
else
  you.wait 10.minutes
end

eggs.remove_shell

you.eat

Poached Eggs

This is a very basic recipe, intended as a building block for more complex recipes.

ingredients = {
  :eggs => 2,

  # vinegar helps keep the eggs from coming apart
  :vinegar => 1.tbsp
}

pot << :water
pot.set_heat :high

if pot.boiling?
  pot << :vinegar
  pot.set_heat :medium
end

if pot.simmering?
  ladle << (you.crack :eggs)
  pot.submerge ladle
end

if pot.eggs.cooked?
  pot.remove :eggs, :with => :slotted_spoon
end

you.eat

Egg-fried Rice

require "white_rice"

ingredients = {
  :white_rice => 1.recipe,
  :olive_oil => 2.tbsp,  # you can use vegetable oil if you like
  :garlic => 1.clove,
  :soy_sauce => 2.tbsp,
  :eggs => 2,

  # use whatever vegetables you like here,
  # this is a list of suggestions
  :corn => 0.5.cups,
  :peas => 0.5.cups,
  :carrots => 1,
  :snow_peas => 1.cup
}

if you.like? :garlic, :a_lot
  ingredients[:garlic] += 1.clove
end

if not you.have? :fresh_ginger
  ingredients[:ginger_powder] = 2.tsp
else
  ingredients[:ginger] = 1.tsp
end

you.make :white_rice

you.chop :garlic, :finely or you.press :garlic
you.chop :ginger, :finely if you.have? :fresh_ginger

pan << :olive_oil << :garlic << :ginger << :soy_sauce
pan.element.set_heat :medium_low

you.wait 1.minute

while pot.contains? :rice
  pan << pot.remove(:rice, :amount => 1.wooden_spoonful)
  you.stir
end

pan << :vegetables

eggs.each do |egg|
  pan << egg
  you.stir
end

you.wait until egg.cooked

you.eat

Shepherd's Pie

require 'mashed_potatoes'

ingredients = {
  :mashed_potatoes => 1.recipe, # do this exactly like in the other recipe
  :ground_beef => 0.5.pounds,

  # for the vegetables, use whichever ones you want
  # these are the ones I like
  :corn => 1.cup,
  :carrots => 1,
  :peas => 1.cup,

  :worcestershire_sauce => 2.tbsp,
  :chili_powder => 2.tbsp,
  :paprika => 1.dash,
  :cheese => you.decide,
}

you.peel :carrot
you.slice :carrot, :into => :small_pieces

pan << :ground_beef << :worcestershire_sauce << :chili_powder << :carrot << :peas << :corn
pan.element.set_heat :medium

class Meat
  def cooked?
    not self.red?
  end
end

until meat.cooked?
  you.stir :occasionally, :with => :wooden_spoon
end

casserole_dish << :meat_mixture

casserole_dish << :mashed_potatoes
you.spread :mashed_potatoes, :evenly

casserole_dish << :paprika

you.grate :cheese
casserole_dish << :grated_cheese

if not food.hot?
  oven.turn_on 150  # doesn't need a very high heat
  oven << casserole_dish until food.hot?
end

you.eat

Hash Browns

ingredients = {
  :potatoes => 3,
  (:olive_oil or :vegetable_oil or :butter) => 3.tbsp,
  :chili_powder => you.decide, # I like to use a fair bit of chili powder,
                               # but it is slightly spicy so you may not
  :oregano => you.decide,
  :salt => you.decide
}

unless you.like? :potato_skins
  you.peel :potatoes
end

you.slice :potatoes, :into => 1.cm.cubes

pan << :oil
pan.element.set_heat :medium

you.wait 1.minute

pan << :sliced_potatoes

you.stir until potatoes.slightly_coated?

pan << :chili_power << :oregano << :salt

10.minutes do
  # you have to stir constantly or the potatoes get stuck to the
  # bottom of the pan, or they might burn
  you.stir :constantly, :with => :wooden_spoon

  break if potatoes.cooked?
end

you.wait until not potatoes.hot?
you.eat

Mashed Potatoes

ingredients = {
  :potatoes => 6,
  :milk => 1.cup,
  :butter => 2.tbsp
}

unless you.like :potato_skins
  you.peel :potatoes
end

you.cut :potatoes, :small_pieces

pot << water
pot.element.set_heat :high

if pot.boiling
  pot << :cut_potatoes
end

class Potato
  def soft?
    you.poke :potato, :with => :fork and potato.falls_off? :fork
  end
end

you.wait until potatoes.soft?  # usually about 20 minutes

strainer << pot.contents
pot << strainer.contents << :milk << :butter

you.mash :potatoes, :with => (:fork or :potato_masher)
you.eat

Spaghetti with Basil

ingredients = {
  :spaghetti => 1.package,
  :basil => 4.tbsp,
  :garlic_salt => 2.tsp,
  :parmesan => 1.tbsp,
  :olive_oil => 2.tbsp
}

pot << :water
pot.element.set_heat :high

if pot.boiling?
  pot << :spaghetti
  pot.element.set_heat :medium
end

until pot.spaghetti == :soft
  you.stir :occasionally
end

strainer.contents = pot.empty
pot.contents = strainer.empty

pot << :everything_else

you.stir
you.eat

Mayonnaise

require 'food_processor'

ingredients = {
  # some recipes say to only use the egg yolk for mayo,
  # I find it works well either way and it's easier to
  # leave the white in
  :eggs => 1,

  # you don't have to use olive oil, you can use vegetable
  # oil if you want instead
  :olive_oil => 1.cup,
  :salt => you.decide,
  :pepper => you.decide
}

# NOTE: The lemon taste can be very strong
if you.like? :lemon
  ingredients[:lemon_juice] = 2.tbsp
else
  ingredients[:water] = 1.tbsp
  ingredients[:lemon_juice] = 1.tbsp
end

if you.like? :mustard
  ingredients[:dry_mustard] = 1.tsp
end

tall_plastic_dish << :all

begin
  # put the food processor at the bottom with the yolk
  # and stir _slowly_
  food_processor.stir :very_slowly
rescue DidNotStirSlowlyException
  me.smack you
  you.restart
end

you.eat :with => :something

Hummus

require 'food_processor'

ingredients = {
  :chick_peas => 1.can,
  :lemons => 1,
  :olive_oil => 2.tbsp,
  :garlic => 2.cloves
}

you.chop :garlic, :finely or you.press :garlic
you.juice :lemon

bowl << :all
food_processor.stir until bowl.contents == :creamy

if bowl.contents == :too_dry
  bowl << :more_olive_oil
  food_processor.stir
end

you.eat :with => :pita_bread

Coleslaw

ingredients = {
  # you can use either green, red or a combination
  (:green_cabbage || :red_cabbage) => 5.leaves,
  :carrot => 1,
  :vinegar => 4.tbsp,
  :salt => you.decide,
  :pepper => you.decide
}

if you.like? :mayonnaise
  ingredients[:mayonnaise] = 4.tbsp
end

you.wash :cabbage
you.chop :cabbage, :finely
you.peel :carrot
you.grate :carrot

bowl << :all
you.stir
you.eat

# this one is dependent upon the value of you.like? :mayonnaise
while not coleslaw.creamy_enough?
  bowl << :more_mayonnaise
  you.stir
end

White Rice

ingredients = {
  # I usually use 1/2 cup of rice for each person,
  # use less if you don't eat much, more if you eat lots
  :white_rice => (num_people * 0.5).cups,
  # always use twice the amount of water as rice
  :water      => num_people.cups
}

pot << :white_rice
pot << :water

if pot.water.depth < 1.cm
  pot = you.get_smaller_pot
end

pot.element.set_heat :high

stir = 
  if pot.non_stick?
    wooden_spoon
  else
    fork
  end

while not pot.boiling
  # note that stir() gets any stuck rice
  # off the bottom of pot
  stir.stir
  you.wait 1.minute
end

if pot.boiling
  pot.element.set_heat :low
  pot.cover
end

you.wait 12.minutes
pot.uncover
stir.stir
pot.element.set_heat :off
pot.element = Element.new
you.wait 5.minutes
you.eat